My Trial With Hair Extensions

I'm not into weave and hair dye and anything else that would change the natural look of my hair but my mom wears hair extensions all the time and she wasn't using one of hers so I decided to try it. I mean why not? It's a clip on so I just parted my hair which is BSL and clipped on the extension and BAM i was instantly MBL. It looks really nice and I have it in right now. It is a great protective style since most of the combing I'm doing is of my false hair rather than my natural. I'm not sure what brand of hair my mom used but it's very soft but not Indian Hair expensive either. I really like it and plan on wearing it in the future. I'll still wear my own hair of course but I like the extension piece. It makes my MBL dreams come true and also sets me into reality. As hot as it is in L.A. right now I wouldn't want hair this long 24/7 and I can tell it would be a lot of work to wash and press. I've just flatironed the piece to make it less curly and it looks good. I mean my own family hasn't even noticed and when I told my brother he was shocked because he knows how long and thick my real hair is and how adamant I was against my mother getting pieces put in. But I still think weaves and lacefronts are damaging but wigs are another safe alternative to hair growth/health.

*My hair comes up to wear my shirt starts and the piece is the rest. When I have it all down and if you saw how it looked in the back it is a thick MBL. Clip on extensions are easy and fun!

Ashamed to be nappy...a true "aha moment"

Well my grandmother called my mom today and in the car and she was talking about fashion and such. She was on the speaker so I could hear everything they were saying of course. Just out of the blue my grandmother told my mother just straight out "..is Destiny going to to wear her hair nappy like that now?" I was so shocked by the statement I became really angry and then sad that that comment came from my grandmother but she has also called my hair words that were less than desirable before. I mean my hair is a big part of my identity, I've always wanted it longer and cherished the fact that it was curly although that it was on a tighter curl. I was very proud of my hair this morning because it was thick and curly like I wanted it to look but then this afternoon that comment made me feel so bad about myself I almost wanted to cry and then my mom being the mediator told me that that's just the way older people from the south think and its not me who she wants to personally put at fault.
My mom told me how the "good hair" thing is still a hot topic and important topic among older and unfortunately some younger African Americans who especially have roots in the south. Sometimes people tell me I have good hair and then they tell me I have bad hair so I don't know what I am sometimes. To me my hair looks however I do it that morning and If I put enough time into it. I'm very proud of the way my hair looks being more African and why should I be ashamed of it?
It's ashame that one of the first things I was told about my father, since my parents had divorced when I was a baby and I had limited contact with him, was that he had "good hair" and that he was mixed. I mean, I knew absoluteley nothing about his personality or his likes and dislikes and I believe psychologically having curly or especially LONG hair for me was a way of feeling that I was apart of him. If my hair is nappy then I have even less to do with him than I do at the moment, in consequence with having zero contact with him or his family. I felt that If I had long hair some of the teachers would make a big deal out of me like they did around the other little girls that were very light with long hair. Now I was ALWAYS very lightskinned but I could never be the full package without my hair being straightened and long. My grandmother was always so worried about my hair being short in which it had grown to be very long when I was a pre-teen in which she then worried herself about girls at school cutting it off. However, myt natural hair was never adored in my later years but it possibly was in my younger years when my hair was in the "2s" and manageable. I almost felt like I wanted to go back in time when I saw a picture of me as a little girl with my straighter hair and felt a little bad about the person I had become.
It was ridiculous to think that way however because I know that I've become and becoming something great. I was always the smartest girl in class, and a straight A student and have dreams and aspirations that reach beyond these worthless strands that sit on top of my head. I don't even care about my light color, I'm just a successful Black woman who is trying to change the mindsets of those younger than me. The mindset that was thrown upon us by those who wanted to keep us underneath them.

How my hair changed..and so quickly at that!

The daycare that I volunteer at just found a picture of me when I was a little girl going there at about three years old. On of the most obvious differences between me now and me then was my hair of course. My mom had my hair in a single braided ponytail but my hair was soo smooth. I thought I was 3A back then but I was actually in the 2s like 2c/3a when was a little girl. How did my hair get so kinky? It's still curly I mean its a 3c but I mean GEEZ! Does everybody's hair do this? I hear about white people going from blonde to brunette but I guess black people go from straight to curly to nappy since I was bron with straight hair on my head except for ONE and yes I said ONE curl lol. My face and everything looked about the same but I looked more like my dad it seems like over the years I've morphed into my mom. People call me her clone and if you saw us you'd be shocked too. But my hair went through a very heavy transformation to the point where I needed to press it and my mom could no longer put it in simple ponytail styles anymore but she really had to dig in there and actually comb out all of my really, really curly hair. My hair is fine now but man it takes some styling and some work to get it tame. I will show the pictures soon but my digital camera does not have batteries but you can see the after affects of age in the posts below. Ahhhh jus like some in their 40s and 50s want to go back to their youth in both body tyoe and flawless skin sometimes I want my hair back!

How was I born with this hair type










Have this hair type as a little girl ages 2 and 3


















Have this hair type at ages 4 and 5












And finally end up with this little girls hair type at 7 years and beyond

Celebrity Mane of The Moment: Mel B aka Scary Spice

I've been in love with Mel B's hair since the 3rd grade. In an earlier post I mentioned how I used to beg my mom to let me wear my hair natural so I could look just like her. I got my wish sometimes but most of the time my mom tried to explain to me that my hair was a lil too thick and well "nappy" for the lack of a better word to wear my hair down like hers. But now I know my mom was half-right I guess because I have half of her texture while the rest of my hair is 4a, which is mostly in the back. Scary Spice has a nice full head of 3c hair that might have some 3b spots. I'm not sure if her natural color is light brown or dark brown but I believe her mother's hair, in the "Mama I Love You" music video, was light or even blonde. However, I just love her natural hair but recently she's either been pressed or relaxed and engulfed in weaves and I'd just love to see this natural texture again but I guess that's the old her not the new. It's kinda funny I guess that what helped create her trademark "scary" look was her thick, curly hair. Black hair is "wild" and "scary" perhaps?
Anyway, To keep a look like this going you need a really good moisturizing leave-in like Parnevu, Nexxus Humectrus or Carol's Daughter, whichever one works for you. She probably braided it or slept on it at night but daily washing would be key I think. I wash my natural hair, or co wash it everyday and it keeps the moisture in and dryness out. Having 3c hair can be a really fun look but if you have 4a mixed in like me, my 4a hair will not always take what my 3c hair likes and resists and frizzes up. Anywho, as soon as I finally grow this heat damage ALL the way out I'll be wearing my curly hair down more often so I can repeat this look all over again as I did before I straightened so much. I kind of wonder if even Scary Spice can get this look back with a wash or two but I'll say it again I love this look.

Product I Can't Live Without: Parnevu Leave-In

I've been using Parnevu ever since I was a little girl wanting to look like Scary Spice from the Spice Girls. That was my "Hannah Montana" back in the day. I thought I could look JUST like her of my mom would just let me wear my hair down right after it was washed instead of blow drying it. She'd say "You don't have hair like Scary Spice" or "I won't be able to come through it!" but I was obstinate! I finally got my way one day and mind you I used to hate to wash my hair I used to feel like I was drowning so the only happy moment that I used to get was being able to see my natural hair with no pressing comb. My mother and I visited the Science Center one of htose days and at about 7 or 8 years old I spotted a natural. I told my mom "See she wears her hair curly" my mom just looked but somehow we got the lady's attention and she saw that I admired her hair. My mother asked what she did to her hair in order to wear it natural but I don't have hair like hers, "In which I felt offended" but the lady recommended Parnevu as a leave in and that she used it almost every day whenever she wore her hair down. I believed that Parnevu would be a miracle in a bottle and after that I was given a couple of curly downtimes but not much because my mom insisted my hair be comb-able. I wouldn't figure out that I do have hair similar to Scary Spice's hair until I got much older and even my mother and grandmother were amazed at my texture which no one had seen in it's natural state since I was very little back when my hair was 3b/3c or even younger when I was born a 3a/3b. I still use Parnevu and it is drying so I don't recommend it's oversue but its great for the smoothing and styling of naturally curly/kinky hair. It doesn't wiegh your hair down and it smells great. The ingredients are not the absolute best, conataining dry alcohol. But if use sparingly it can make a difference in the softness, maintaining the moisture and dealing with the overall frizz in your hair.

Long Term Relationship Shampoo and Condish

I am on the journey toward longer and healthier hair and when I saw this shampoo I was excited to try it thinking it would make a difference in the health of my hair. Yes, when I saw the commercial I saw a white girl's long, blonde hair gaining strength but not my own hair type. It smells great, like some type of fruit salad. The first time I washed my hair with it I let the condish on longer than 3 minutes in order to get more out of it and then washed it out after I had put my plastic bag on. The conditioner left my hair really soft and so did the shampoo. I didn't notice much of a difference between this collection and Mane-N-Tail Shampoo except for the smell but I've gotten the same softness. However, long term relationship gives your hair, to me, a much fresher feeling and the packaging is very pretty and creative. I didn't see a difference in the strength of my hair too much but my hair was not doing poorly before this collection of hair care. It is actually my favorite shampoo/condish collection and I use it because I was told not to switch shampoos too often but to find onw that I liked and this is my staple. It isn't ad drying as my trusty Vo5 and I currently have left a bit of the conditioner in my hair overnight while my hair is sitting in the braids in which I mean to take out and let my hair sit in an afro today, or my version of an afro. I recommend ong Term Relationship for its softness and shine it goves your hair and I don't believe its harmful to your hair but I also don't believe it's a miracle product. Maybe this is more helpful on type 1 and 2 type hair. Anyways, try it!

Celebrity Mane of The Moment: Teyana Taylor

Now I'm not sure if Teyana Taylor's hair is her's or not but it sure is a beautiful natural look. I personally think it's a lacefront but I've heard the contrary so let's pretend it's all hers for right now. It's a very nice texture, nice and full. I love how she dares to bring the afro back for ladies as I'm seeing quite recently although I don't think it's catching on like wildfire but it is a hot look. I've heard she uses Carols' Daughter Hair Milk which I haven;t gotten much use of but with her 3a/b curls they seem to flourish with it on. All she needs is a nice leave-in and a few braids every night to keep the frizz down and the curls fresh and she's good to go. I would absolutley looove hair like this but it looks like a lot of work. But what I found funny while trying to find articles about her hair on the internet during my treck to validate it, I read someone say her hair wasn't real. Yet, someone replied and claimed 'no that's all her hair because she mixed with Trinidadian and Blackfoot Indian'. I mean she HAS to be directly mixed to have hair like this. What if she was east African or something but this type of hair might exist in W. Africa and I might not know it. But anyways that was funny. Mixed is the key to flourishing hair, not healthy hair care practices. go figure :/

The Current State of My Curls part 2

If you have damaged hair this is the right place for you since I am currently getting over the damaged ends that I still have. My hair has grown out a lot but I still have a lot of growing to do I am currently BSB and my hair is 3c/4a. I have been using Parnevu leave - in, Carols Daughter Hair Milk, Olive Oil Moisturizer, Long Term Relationship Herbal Essences shampoo, Wild Growth Light Oil, Suave cheap gel (not recommended but I use it in small portions) and Motions deep conditioning treatment conditioner. I admit none of these products have worked a miracle on my hair but the treatment cond. has helped my hair stay healthy along with this Olive Oil placenta hot oil treatment that I plan to use monthly.

My Regimen: Press every two weeks with pressing oil <---pressing oil is very important when using heat because it helps protect the hair. Pressing oil is also good for the very dry Californian climate that I live in. -Wash and Condition with Long Term Relationship -(Once a Month) Motions Leave-In -(Once a Month) Olive Oil Hot Oil Treatment -Olive Oil MOisturing Lotion before blow drying -I recently startred combing out my hair, braiding and then blow drying so I do not have to tug the dryer through my hair. -I press with oil -I "grease" my scalp with WGO light oil every 2-3 days or with B&B Super Gro grease very, very lightly. They say not to use grease because of petrolatum but my hair grows perfectly fine with it in. Just put it in lightly and put it on your ends to seal them and you should be fine. My hair grew incredibly long in middle school with a ton of grease. I was almost MBL. For those who don't know: NL = Neck Lenght, SL = Shoulder Length, APL = Arm Pit Length, BSL = Bra Strap Length, BSB is synonymous with BSL which means below shoulder blade, MBL = Mid Back Lenght and WL = Waist Length.

My Natural Hair:
Curls on the end courtesy of braidouts. At least it isn't looking like my hair in my last blog. It has really grown.